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June 25, 1999
happy pride
yesterday, i was looking ahead to this pride weekend, not as an outlet to party, but to unwind. i'm not really looking forward to partying much. i am not currently in that mind set.
but enough parties. it's happening everywhere and all i want to do is lie down peacefully and read a good book.
last night, after chatting with dutch boxer. my roomate, polish sausage, is telling me to go out and enjoy myself. instead, i have spent the next two hours reading 'happy potter and the order of phoenix'.
as polish sausage would say: "is something wrong with you? you're young. you're handsome. go out there and have fun with any guy you want."
no, i can not get any guy i want. the one that i do want, i can't get.
*****
yesterday at work, i told sunshine girl i felt like escaping the whole weekend. maybe i say this all too prematurely. she asked why? and my reply was, 'i'm not depressed. but it's like every other day to me. i pretty much celebrate everyday. but now, everyone is celebrating. i feel somewhat out of the loop.'
so after our talk, i sent everyone at work my vacation notice that i will be away with the greeting "happy pride weekend". after which, three of my peers individually approached me and applauded. "that was gutsy of you. that is what pride is all about" says one work colleague.
my work environment tends to be conservative. and my vacation notice was (intentional) coming-out notice to everyone. to the ones who are close to me are already aware. but it felt great letting everyone else know. that's what this pride weekend is all about. it's not about parties, it's not about sex, drugs, or booze. it's about being comfortable with yourself and being happy.
original post: June 25 & 28/2003
revised: June 25/2003
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