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October 27, 2003
another night out with scuba (part two)
*** this posting contains explicit language depicting gay sex. if you are offended by such material, or if you are under the age of 18, please leave now! india, you're a smart girl, but i have to be responsible. you shouldn't be reading this. you're only 17. medical girl, beware. ***
i haven't even described anything in detail, yet i received so many emails regarding me sleeping with a "straight" man. boys and girls, i'm not breaking any new ground here. this happens all the time. if you like reading about hot men getting it on, then i suggest you go to this guy. he's a riot. if the gay vs straight sex phenomenon is what you're after, then i suggest you go to www.seancody.com - for a price, you get to see sexy straight men do it with cute homos for the camera. funny how art imitates life, eh? well, only if you consider pornography as a form of art.
*****
so there i was alone with blonde boy. i already told scuba and abercrombie boy that i was going to sleep on the couch. as soon as they leave, blonde boy stands silently.
"you're not having a three-way?" blonde boy asks in his proper english accent. he seems surprised.
"nah man. i don't do three ways, let alone orgies." i say this as i finish my drink.
"really?"
"been there. done that. not my thing." i'm mentally incapable of carrying conversation.
as i take off my shoes, i notice that blonde boy has stripped to his underwear. suddenly i had this familiar feeling that i stepped into some sort of porn flick.
"i'm horny. wanna fuck?" hey, i thought blonde boy was straight? i give him a confused look.
"red girl told me you were straight."
"i've slept with a guy before, but no one knows."
"well, why not sleep with red girl instead?" what am i saying? am i really saying this?
"red girl already has a boyfriend." he then says, "no one should know, okay?"
i'm a happy drunk, but i'm not giggling. the thought of a fooling around with straight boys would usually turn my crank. as the saying goes, be careful what you wish for, you might just get it - life works in mysterious ways. i've been complaining about not getting any action for the past month. now that this opportunity has presented itself, i'm rejecting blonde boy's offer. i didn't understand why.
"why not?" he asks.
i give a brief and vague reference to R&J "i just got off a relationship. i'm staying away from sex." i do not expand any further.
to my surprise, blonde boy starts to beg. oh my god. this is just hilarious. this is not porn anymore, this is reality tv. "let me suck your cock." a straight boy pleading if he can give me a blow job? too good to be true. he continues to entice me by jacking himself off. i know this would totally titillate me, but i was firm and turned my back as i reclined on the couch. "good night." i announce. he eventually turns off the lights, but not before offering a side of the queen sized bed. i decline again.
lights off.
i doze. but then i wake up. i had no concept of what time it was as i sit up. i guess it was a sudden and abrupt movement that blonde boy hears me and turns the lamp lights on. i don't think he has slept one bit. the only thought in my head was: "what the fuck am i thinking? was i that drunk to turn down blonde boy for sex?" i attribute my silly mistake to alcohol.
i reached for some gum. i stood up and like a man on a mission, walked towards blondie. he was already sitting up on the bed. we start kissing heavily. "mmmm. minty fresh." he says. "i'm gonna fuck you." i say. in the middle of it all, i remember thinking that blonde boy was definitely someone that i should be writing about in my blog. so here it is. this scene ends as i had to run to the bathroom to puke. i wasn't feeling too good.
for all the lovely fags taking pointers, here are some of my beliefs that were confirmed through my experience:
#1 bi, tri, gay, or straight. i don't believe in labels. never have. breeders are not much different from us gay boys. they are just as horny. they will not turn down the opportunity for sex. in my case, they initiate it. :) alcohol quadruples your chances too.
#2 anal sex is not considered taboo anymore. heteros will not flinch when you tell them you're gonna fuck 'em. (i give credit to sarah jessica parker in sex in the city)
#3 while breeders might not know how to suck cock, you forgive them because of their eagerness.
#4 breeders like taking it in at least three different positions. they're especially very curious about doing it doggy style.
#5 heteros are not in the habit of using lubricants during sex, let alone poppers. i wonder why?
#6 breeders like to be given instructions. command them to squeeze their ass cheeks while they ride you. they go crazy!
#7 these boys like feedback. it only encourages them.
*****
on my way back to bed from a bit of a puke-fest, i stop by the couch and notice that i have one missed call from scuba. i look at the time and it's almost 6am. i turn my ringer on. a little after 7am, my phone rings loudly to the tune of 'in my place' by coldplay. it wakes blonde boy. a british song from a british band for a british boy i just fucked. how appropriate.
it was scuba on the phone. he's ready to head out. so, i say goodbye to blonde boy. i kiss him softly, but not before he warns me not to tell anyone. yeah. whatever. i join scuba at abercrombie boy's room. again, we compare notes on the men's room. "steve, i fucked blonde boy last night." "wow" was scuba's reply. scuba then tells me that sex with abercrombie boy was blah. he was riding on tremendous guilt that ruined the mood for him. "but he's so hot, isn't he?" scuba tells me this as he giggles quietly. i nod.
more puke at second cup, a $50 cab ride back to downtown toronto during rush hour, even more puking on the gardiner expressway, and breakfast at harvey's, me and scuba felt like shit. we come back to my place and take a quick nap. i set my alarm at 11am and take a long shower. i tell scuba i feel mentally adequate to go to work.
scuba offers to give me a ride to work so i manage to come in after lunch. it was a love hangover that gave me strength. god, i'm so dedicated when it comes to my job. i also have the best boss. sigh.
mm
soundtrack: 'love hangover' by diana ross. [ lyrics ]
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