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February 19, 2004
kids nowadays: part two
'i believe the children are our future..." whitney houston sang it well. "...teach them well and let them lead the way..." such words of inspiration, eh?
*****
when i visited my dad over the weekend for his birthday, one of my goals was to repair the tension built-up between myself and my youngest brother anthony. he's fourteen going on fifteen.
we had somewhat of a scruffle during last christmas. i attribute it to the fact that he is such a spoiled BRAT! but that's besides the point. anthony has a new hobby that keeps him busy nowadays: girls.
he's always on the phone every time i call my mom or dad. anthony claims to have had "10 ex-girlfriends". while i think he's full of bull, i know he has had two girlfriends since christmas. i was actually a bit annoyed that he had a valentine's and i didn't. he gave his new girl a rose and a small bear.
sigh. young love.
like any brother-to-brother relationship, anthony and i occasionally fight on silly things. but on saturday, we were on speaking terms again. my goal was to keep it that way. at the dining room table, we started talking:
"so, what's this new girl's name?" i ask.
"stephanie."
"i like that name."
apparently, stephanie is best friends with anthony's ex-girlfriend. i'm thinking... "so young and already, the drama!" then, our conversation started turning towards a deeper undertone. anthony was opening up to me. i was all ears.
"you wanna know my criteria for my girlfriends?" he sounds sneakily proud.
"what"
"guess" he says.
"I'm not gonna guess.... tell me."
he was a bit hesitant so i started filling in the blanks.
"what? if they give you head?" this was merely a joke suggestion, i didn't think he knew what "give head" meant. but then i look at anthony and he's nodding.
"wwwhhhhhaattttt?!?!?!?" i could not believe what i was hearing.
"...only if they put out..." he continues and happily labels himself a 'playa'.
two things came to mind:
1) anthony is a stud, sexually active at fourteen.
2) anthony is a daughter's father's nightmare!
what is it with kids these days? they're so advanced!
there's different ways to react to my brother's revelation. obviously, anthony is NO kid anymore, and i can't talk to him as such. if i were to give him a lecture, what are the chances that he'd open up to me again? so, i took the role of the cool big brother. although i was a bit appalled as he continued to talk, i didn't criticize him.
he did tell me, though, that my mom gave him a little chat about the "birds & the bees". "really?" i was surprised to hear this from anthony. my mom, the christian lady that she is, has never given any of us other five kids this so-called a 'sex' talk. i had to learn about sex the old-fashion way: porn!
essentially, my mom told anthony that if he is to have sex in the latter future, to do it with someone he cares about.
*****
i don't visit often enough but the next time i do stop over, i've decided that i'm bringing my brother a pack of condoms. will this encourage him to have sex? it might. but think of the alternative? i can't stop him from having sex, so i might as well make sure he's doing it right. and i know i should talk to him about pregnancy as well.
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